What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
