dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize