Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
