possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
