dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
