Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
