sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
