he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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