seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
