guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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