I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I need to stop coming to work sober
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
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