I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
