i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
