I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
