Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
