i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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