and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I wear drunk well.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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