do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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