community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize