One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
