I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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