so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
