its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
