Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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