a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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