What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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