So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
