i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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