it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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