good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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