if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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