What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
