We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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