I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize