Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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