it wasn't lemon gatorade
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
