Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
