I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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