I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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