I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
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