I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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