...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
