I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i don't like sucking hair
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
