We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
