I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Go christen that room with your naked body.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
