In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
