i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
