i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize