then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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