im holly from the hills drunk
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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