MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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