Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
