ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
