she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
