Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
