dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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