well you can't waste a boner
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
