it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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