Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
