It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
