erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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