Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
